A Jubilee Street Party in Minecraft is the least bad version of the actual Jubilee I guess

Because I now live in a country other than the UK I have different staff holidays in the UK, which, it turns out, is almost everyone. That means I’m at work today and Friday. For other people outside the UK who don’t know, this weekend it celebrates the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee. She is the first British monarch to manage 70 years on the throne, most of the others having killed each other or something. The country, particularly England, responded to this by going to the boil, even represented digitally with a street party virtual map in Minecraft. Normally I wouldn’t write about this, but it gives me an excuse to post a Republican message on Main when no one is watching.

The quote-quoted Traditional Street Party comes courtesy of Nvidia, which commissioned Ushio Tokura’s three-person team to build it (with 45 million blocks, apparently). It includes Pall Mall, the Queen’s Guard in their big hats, Buckingham Palace, and then the street party itself, which is a terraced street with all the banners and tables set up. At night, there’s a fireworks display, to better show off that RTX ray tracing that Nvidia is always on. There is “a pudding contest”. I have no idea what that means, but it sounds like it’s probably slang for something absolutely filthy.

You may understand that I’m not a monarchist, but since I’m able to view it from the outside with a little more detachment, the Jubilee fury seems like an interesting collective cultural artifact of where England is right now . Part “‘Prince Andrew’ is already trending on Twitter, lol” but a bigger part “I made a felted Royal Family diorama out of my dogs hair!”. Regent Street is covered in so many flags it’s impossible to joke around. The queen succeeded colonized bronze age. They hand wreaths on pints and maybe even bring back imperial measurements (probably because both are easier than bringing back the hanging). There is a… they do a tree made of… of trees??

You have to laugh, don’t you? This Minecraft map is a dishonest representation of a traditional street party in the UK, which would ideally include bottled beer at room temperature, sunburn and neighbors fighting over who actually owns the right chairs folding camping tents. I originally had a paragraph of many, many more mean jokes about the UK and the monarchy there, so you can consider me removing it as a giveaway, yer maj. For a real cultural record of England in game form, I agree with Alice0’s recommendation to check out Duke Smoochem, a 3D Duke Nukem level. The mega-thread on Twitter is still being updated.

If you are a royalist who plays Minecraft and you have come to the end of this article, you can download Nvidia’s Jubilee card here. Someone from the team took a look and said it wasn’t as good as the Minecraft Christmas one they made.